Cat on a Hot Tin Roof - That's Me!

I am a ball of nerves. I'm not sleeping. I'm gorging myself on sugar. I'm having panic attacks. I'm sitting paralyzed with fear. I'm having irrational emotional outbursts. These are all signs that a big life change and a huge move are just around the corner. As much as I've tried to act cool as a cucumber these last few weeks, the reality has officially set in. I feel like my life is now moving at 100 mph and I'm standing on the sidelines watching it whizz by. I hate this feeling. It's a feeling of losing control. Not so good when you're a control freak like me.

I'm sitting here grappling with why I'm feeling this way. I've done this before. I'm a moving expert. I'm the queen of change, or at least so I thought. In truth, I think the older I get the more I dislike change. Change of any kind has been harder and harder for me to handle. Am I getting more cranky and stuck in my ways as I age? I'm not really sure. I think I've just lived a life of much chaos and I'm now really starved for some groundedness and maybe even a little monotony.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

My thoughts are so all over the place I'm having a hard time composing a clear blog post. I will do what I always do when I'm feeling anxious, I'll head for the hills and talk to God. Outdoors is the only place to find peace and commune with my creator. It's the only place right now where I can be still.

In the meantime, do me a favor, don't sneak up behind me. My nerves are on high alert. I'm liable to lay you out with a punch or at least a blood curdling scream. You have been warned.

Some pics of how I feel:

Kitty on high alert. Don't startle me!

Don't give me any coffee. Worst idea ever!

Looks like I finally have something in common with Britney

Puttin' on my big girl panties cuz I'm all growzed up!

Wow. I can't believe it. After all the debate, work, consideration, prayer, waiting, and more prayer that went into the purchase of this house, it's finally here, the big closing day. Being a self-proclaimed commitment-a-phobe this is definitely a big ordeal for me. So, it seems only right that I should commemorate this day with a blog posting.

Today is monumental for me. Purchasing a home is unchartered territory. It always seemed like a pie in the sky ideal and something that only BORING people do because they have nothing better to do with their BORING lives than settle down into one house, get comfortable (a.k.a get more BORING), clutter up the home with a bunch of junk, and then live there rotting in boredom until one day....they DIE. Sounds terrible doesn't it? Now you can see why I never thought I'd buy a home! Ha! But seriously I've had like close to 10 years of counseling and $1,000s of dollars spent to get to the crux of why my damaged self had such thoughts.

Phew. Wow. Glad that's off my chest. Anyhoo, I really had no idea what went into the whole process of home buying. My parents never owned a home and now they live in China. That's probably why I've always been totally comfortable with the idea of renting for my entire life. Turns out purchasing a home involves a crap ton of paper work, offers and counter offers, waiting, inspections, signing papers, more waiting, approvals, money, and closing. Then, BLAM, you own a home. Here's the keys. Have fun. Wait..... What just happened?? Just kidding. :P

Our very first home.  Crazy! What's even crazier of course is the fact that we bought our first home with two other first time home owners, my in-laws. Crazy with a little side of crazy! I really never thought that I'd own a home. It feels so grown up and well......commitment like. I can't believe it! I'm seriously going to have a ridiculously cute, white, picket fence. How cliche is that?

Pajama Jama Party

Today I made the realization that since I will be living with two people other than my husband that I was in dire need of a new sleep wardrobe. It may be OK to wear ripped PJ's, shorty shorts, and see-through tank tops when I am in the company of just my husband but it certainly will NOT be acceptable to have a nipple slip in the company of the family commune. Yipes! Awkward.

So, I trashed several items that did not make the PJ cut and headed over to the local Marshalls to make some more family friendly purchases. The trip was a success. Nothing exciting to report there. Though, I have to say this whole thing got me thinking about the fact that minor things like ripped up pajamas can actually become somewhat of an issue when living in community. That in turn got me wondering about the other strange things we will encounter in the transition phase. Things that seem completely normal and legit when it's just you and your hubby but suddenly become quite inappropriate when there is a crowd.

Other things that may not be kosher to do when living in community:
- walking naked from the shower to the bedroom (imagine the horror on my in-laws faces)
- drinking directly from the milk jug or any beverage container
- using previously licked spoon to dish more hummus out of container
- having "intimate relations" in living room or other communal areas
- singing at the top of my lungs at 6am (really anything loud at that hour is probably not OK)
- pooping/peeing with the bathroom door open

I'm sure I've missed a few. Can't wait to find out what they are! Stay tuned......