Purge the Demons - The packing party has begun!

And today's demons are (drum roll please) mounds and mounds of papers. Seriously, how does this happen? How am I not buried in piles of papers? I HATE paper. The faster this world goes completely digital, the better! I just spent the better part of the day going through my office. I have probably made about 6 trips to dump shredded papers into the recycling bins and all I really have to show for my work is one measly packed box. Sheesh!

 My purging purgatory

All that work and only one box to show for it. Le sigh.....

Honestly people, I HATE moving. At last count I was up to about 25 times in my 32 short years (but you already knew that because you religiously read my blog. Right? Right?!). Anyway, It seriously has the ability to throw me into a panic attack. I think I have PTSD from all the moves over the years. I need a support group or maybe I just need to go into the fetal position for a little while and suck my thumb.

I do have to admit that even though moving has become a somewhat traumatizing experience for me I love the excitement of the unknown. Every move feels like a clean slate. A do over. I also love sifting through my crap and getting rid of stuff. What I do not love is realizing that I am an over-indulgent, pampered, wealthy, white person with the first world problem of having too many clothes and too many belongings. Kinda disturbing if ya ask me........

Anyhoo, break's over. Back to shredding!

I MUST Be Taking Crazy Pills

I can't believe I'm willingly leaving this place behind! That thought kept running through my head on the ride this morning. This is just another day in Boulder. Same ol'. Same ol'. It's always sunny here. It's always mild in temperature. It's always a good day to ride!

This is my friend and riding buddy, Kim. She is one of the people that I will have to say goodbye to. I'm gonna miss my training buddy from Jersey with the Jersey attitude. 

My heart is sad this afternoon. For what I will gain, I am giving up much. As departure becomes eminent, reality begins to set in. As much as I poke fun of Boulder, it's been a wonderful place to live for the last 2 years. I've met wonderful people. I've met some real nut jobs too, but that's beside the point. The point is, I will have to say goodbye. I may not see some of these people ever again. It hurts. I've moved over 25 times in my 32 years of life so I'm quite familiar with what saying goodbye feels like, and yet, every time, every single time it's just as painful as the first time.

I'm moving from a place of knowing to a place of unknowing. Will I like small town Indiana? What will the people be like? Will I make friends? Will I be able to live in harmony with 3 other adults under one roof? Will family and friends make up for the lack of nature and glorious weather? How will I ever survive without an organic grocery on every corner?

For now, I'm going to let this feeling ride. Even though I know this move is right, it's OK to mourn the losses that come with the change. Today I'm going to relish in the beauty of Boulder. I'm going to enjoy what I have before it's gone. I've got the afternoon free and a beautiful mountain to hike with my doggie. Here's to enjoying my last few weeks in Boulder to their fullest!

NEVER say Never

Remember when I said I would NEVER live in Indy? Whoopsie! I’m fairly certain that God has a sense of humor and that sort of commentary generally comes back to bite you in the ass. It sure has for me!

In the earlier years of my marriage it’s something that I said to Andrew all the time. Who am I kidding? I’m pretty sure I said it sometime in the last 12 months. Anyway, It was always mentioned with affirmation after visits to the area. I didn’t like the sprawl. I didn’t like the chain restaurants. I didn’t like the weather. I didn't like the downtown. I didn’t like the obesity and the list went on and on.

In any case, things change and people change. That’s one of the cool things about being human. We have free will. We can change. We can evolve. We can grow. Living in Boulder for the last 2 years has been a gift. I have changed and grown a LOT and I’ve grown into a spot where I long for family.

A short list of other things I said I would NEVER do and now subsequently do all the time:

-Stay in on Friday and/or Saturday nights (oh the horror!)

-Get married

-Be that couple that sits and watches TV all night

-Wear raggity pajamas to bed

-Leave Colorado

-Move to Indy

-Go to counseling

-Eat organic food

-Have children (I’m still working on the never part of this one but I better watch it lest I end up with a brood of children)

In all seriousness though, saying never is a dangerous place to be. It holds you back. It limits you. It keeps you from the things and places where you might truly find happiness and fulfillment. It may keep you from an amazing plan for your life. For me, part of that plan is living with and near my family whom I adore. I know there is a lot more to this story and I can’t wait to see what else God has in store. 

Living in Community: Part 3 (everyone wants to offer unsolicited words of caution)

I like how whenever you make a big change in your life everyone has an opinion. You know what I’m talking about. I’m sure you’ve been there before in one way or another. And I’m not saying that we shouldn’t seek out wise counsel when making decisions, obviously we should BUT I have to laugh because most negative commentary is coming from outsiders who have absolutely no idea about the situation at hand or the people involved.

When I tell someone the news of this move and the impending communal living situation there tends to be a certain sequence of events in their reaction. First their jaw drops, then, they laugh, and not in a good way,  It’s a nervous, uncomfortable laugh. Then, they offer up words of caution like “wait a minute did you think this through?” or “Are you sure about this?” or “What about all the legalities?” Cue 750 various legal scenarios about the dangers of living with family and the legal repercussions of purchasing a home together. Eventually, they may timidly come to the conclusion that it is OK to live this way (thanks for the thumbs up), but then they will quickly change the subject to something much less scary, like, the weather or Aunt Martha’s goiter.

People, I get it. This is unusual to everyone because it goes against America’s societal norm of independence. I get it but how dumb do people think I am? Did I just wake up one morning and think oh hell, you know what? I think I should just buy a home with my in-laws and we’ll all live happily ever after! WORST IDEA EVER, people!

A LOT has led up to this. It’s taken years of growth and priming. God was putting the pieces together even when I had no idea it was happening. It took city living. It took a move to Boulder. It took relationship growth. It took pain. It took a lot of things. Months of prayer, counsel, and more prayer went into it. Lots of late nights with the in-laws bringing up all possible scenarios down to the finest details. No, In fact, as much as people think I just woke up one morning and decided to willy-nilly move in with my in-laws, they couldn’t be any further away from the truth.

There’s a lot more to tell about how I got to this place but I’ll save that for another day. Right now I'm actually beginning to panic that my in-laws are going to detest living with me.  

Living in Community: Part 2 (Telling Everyone Else)

It’s OK to be different. The truth is, I’ve always been a “buck the system” kinda gal. If I am told I should do AB or C because it’s what everyone else does I would sooner do the opposite.  I am defiant and sometimes not in a good way. Surprisingly though, when it came time to break the news to people that I would be living community style with my extended family, I started to get a little timid. But why? Why? How could this be? In your face me was nervous to tell the news? Why was it so scary for me to share with others what I knew was right, and good, and true, and even inspired?

Yes. I do believe that this came from God. Why do I know that? I know it because it’s in my gut. As much as I tried to fight this idea, and believe me, I TRIED. It kept coming back. I actually pleaded with God to make it not so. It’s so against my very persona that I knew it just had to be from him. Surely, I wouldn’t come up with anything so wild.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL. All things that stray from our cultural norms are scary.

You may think I’m coo-coo. Honestly, It is a little cray-cray. Then again, aren’t all things that are out there or inspired always considered a little crazy? All innovative things are those that stray from the norm. To be frank, even as little as a year ago if I could have glimpsed into the future and I were able to see this I would have said no freakin’ way. Ya’ll all are full o’ bleeeeeeep. Yet here I am and I couldn’t be anymore confident of this decision. I’m more confident than I’ve ever been about any one decision in my entire life. 

Living in Community: Part 1

Well, it’s official. Hold on to your hats folks! I’m off my nut by about a mile and a half. I, Abby Kurtz, city girl, fiercely independent, feisty, and non-committal that I am, am not only buying a home with but am also moving in with my in-laws. 

Collective GASP!!!!

Two couples, 4 people, in less than 2 months will combine their material goods and their lives into one household in small town Indiana. It sounds just crazy enough to be worthy of a blog.

I’m not gonna sugar coat it. I’m not gonna lie. I’m gonna share it all, the ups and the downs, the funny stuff and the sad stuff, the mundane and the down right ridiculous. I hope you’ll join me on this adventure as the 4 of us forge into the unknown, the scary, the exciting, and the unchartered territory of communal living. 

A WARNING TO MY READERS: You all need to know that I’m a Christian. I love the Lord. Scary, I know. If this fact will bug, frighten, or offend you, than you best flip the channel now before my Jesus freak rubs off on you.   :P