Two Are Better Than One

There is an old saying that my mother use to always say, "many hands make light work". This couldn't be more true in the ol' commune. There are some truly wonderful things about living in community and not the least of which is having more helpers around. I think that's why in the days of yore families had so many kids. It could also be related to the fact that children making it past their first year of life was an accomplishment, but I digress. The point is, there are some really wonderful things about living in community and I'd like to share some of them with you. Ladies take notice, it is absolutely wonderful to have another lady's hands around to help with the day to day tasks in the home.

Things that I LOVE about living in community:


1. Cooking becomes much less of a chore when you have another woman to plan meals and grocery shop with. They can also take up some of the burden when you have a night that you don't particularly feel like cooking.

2. This house is HUGE. I simply cannot imagine having to clean all 3000+ sq. ft. of it all by myself. Again, having another lady friend to take up some of that load makes all the difference

3. Having your best friends around all the time just makes life that much more enjoyable.

4. Having extra hands to do all the move in painting cuts project time in half.

5. There is very little opportunity for loneliness in this house as there is always someone to talk to, always someone to come out in the garage and chat with you whilst you paint a table.

6. All the household bills are cut in half. This also applies to the grocery bill and other home expenditures.

7. Having another lady in the house means twice the possibility of fresh baked goods lying around at all times.

8. Living in a community means that you constantly have a "go to" group of others to hang out with on Friday or Saturday nights.

9. When doing the home decorating it is nice to have a second pair of eyes and mind for creative thought.

Things that I DON'T LOVE (see how I didn't use hate there) about living in Community:

1. This one goes along with #3 up top. While #3 is quite nice, it can also be, at times, quite tiresome. There are days when you just want everyone to GO AWAY!!! Why are there people EVERYWHERE?!?!?!

2. Total exposure. There are no secrets when you live in this close of proximity.

3. Having another lady in the house means twice the possibility of fresh baked goods lying around at all times. Yes. This is a repeat from above. As you can imagine this is a double edged sword.

4. Food gets eaten up twice as fast. If you know me, you know i'm territorial about my food. Step back away from my cookies people!!

5. Everyone, except me, gets SUPER annoying at some point.

6. No more nude walkings about whenever you feel like it.

7. Everyone has an opinion on EVERYTHING. Just when you think that you've figured out just how you would do something or just where you would like to place something someone else tells you that they'd prefer it another way.

I'm sure there are more things, both good and bad, I will add them as I think of them.


In this arrangement I feel that the ladies have the upper hand. Sometimes I feel quite bad for the men. They now have two times the amount of nagging and two times the amount of ladies telling them what to do. wah wah wah.

Two are better than one because they have better return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 

-Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Sticks and Stones

You know that old childhood saying about sticks and stones breaking bones but words not hurting? If not, here's a quick reminder:

"Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me"

 Picture some bratty kid saying that with their tongue sticking out. They'd also probably follow it up with some version of "nah nah nah nah boo boo!"

What a pile of bologna! As everyone has experienced, words can hurt just as deep as any bruise and sometimes worse because their scars are not outwardly noticeable.

Well unfortunately for me, OK it's not really unfortunate, but it is hard. God's got his eye on continuing to work on my sharp and prickly edges and he's using my fellow commune mates to expose where I need to change. I have too sharp of a tongue. I let hurtful words fly out of my mouth without giving a moments notice. It usually happens when I'm irritated or even pissed about something. I need to find the balance and learn to control my tongue. It's not that anger is bad. I think that we place a negative connotation around anger as an emotion. It too, like sadness or joy, is a valid emotion and one that Jesus himself even experienced. Seriously, read the story in Matthew about him flipping over tables at the temple. Dude was pissed. The difference is, Jesus didn't sin in his anger. Can't say the same about myself. Yipes! I need to learn how to express my anger in a more constructive manner and one that doesn't directly hurt other people.

The nasty part about this unveiling is that I have learned that I am extremely adept at giving a good tongue lashing. This is not a status that I am proud of having acquired. If I'm honest with myself, I probably started honing my skills many years ago and have worked pretty hard at them ever since.

Growing up, anger and rage were the only "allowed" emotions in my family. Sorrow, fear, and anxiety need not apply. For whatever reason, actively expressing those particular emotions was not allowed. These were always answered away and you were constantly given a reason for why you, in fact, did not have those particular feelings. In general, feelings weren't really allowed in our house but somehow anger and rage made the cut. Perhaps these emotions were OK because they shielded your vulnerable side. I can't really say.

At any rate, when you grow up in a family in which barking at one another and anger outbursts are a common occurrence you naturally begin to develop a pretty thick skin. As a result, you become desensitized to the power of your words. For many years I have often thought that everyone else should just toughen up and that they were the ones in need of a change, and not me. Surely, not me! Can we say pride much? Yeah well, as I've said it before God seems to have a sense of humor and he's pretty good at knocking us down a few notches when there's something that we need to change in our lives. My commune partners in crime have been brave enough to confront me with the times that I have hurt them and to make me aware that my words do have meaning and power. So, I went ahead and followed that up with a good punching in their face. um...what? Just kidding! Let me tell you though, confrontation really SUCKS, probably for them too. It's never easy to confront someone as you never really know how they will respond.

I wish that I could say that this realization has led to an immediate change of behavior. It has not. It is a work in progress. Isn't that life for ya? We're always a work in progress. I am currently trying to think of ways to allow my anger to come out. I don't want to suppress my anger, but at the same time it needs to come out in a less harmful manner.

Got any anger expulsion ideas for me? Here in the commune we have often joked about having a "freak out garage". You would go in there and scream your head off and them come back out feeling refreshed. Ha! I wonder if that would work? I've also always really wanted to break something. I would just love to have a cement wall that I could throw plates into, or better yet, delicate wine glasses. oooh.  Wouldn't that be rewarding? Only problem would be having the endless supply of glassware to break. That might get a little costly. How about something that I could yell out into the air that wouldn't be directed at any one person? Trust me, I can swear like a sailor so I'm trying to think of something that might not involve swear words. :)

I'll let you know if I come up with anything. In the meantime I'll leave you with the verse that has given me a lot of comfort during this time.

Being confident of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus 

-Phillipians 1:6

What this verse means to me is that I can and will be able to change because of the work of grace. This is a huge encouragement to me. It's so easy to feel trapped and defeated, like we will never be any different, that we cannot change, but that my friends is a lie. 

Living in Community: Part 1

Well, it’s official. Hold on to your hats folks! I’m off my nut by about a mile and a half. I, Abby Kurtz, city girl, fiercely independent, feisty, and non-committal that I am, am not only buying a home with but am also moving in with my in-laws. 

Collective GASP!!!!

Two couples, 4 people, in less than 2 months will combine their material goods and their lives into one household in small town Indiana. It sounds just crazy enough to be worthy of a blog.

I’m not gonna sugar coat it. I’m not gonna lie. I’m gonna share it all, the ups and the downs, the funny stuff and the sad stuff, the mundane and the down right ridiculous. I hope you’ll join me on this adventure as the 4 of us forge into the unknown, the scary, the exciting, and the unchartered territory of communal living. 

A WARNING TO MY READERS: You all need to know that I’m a Christian. I love the Lord. Scary, I know. If this fact will bug, frighten, or offend you, than you best flip the channel now before my Jesus freak rubs off on you.   :P